Ambition once held a promise—homeownership, financial stability, upward mobility, and personal satisfaction. But for many, especially women, that promise feels increasingly hollow. A growing number are stepping away from materialistic goals and high-pressure careers in favor of a slower, more intentional lifestyle.
Take Rose Gardner, for instance. She checked all the traditional boxes: stellar academic performance, top university credentials, and a successful career in publishing, eventually landing a media role and purchasing a flat in London. But despite each accomplishment, she found herself emotionally flat.
“I remember stepping into my flat and, rather than feeling proud, I just felt anxious,” she recalls. Her well-paying job was tolerable but unfulfilling, and the consumer-driven focus of the industry began to wear her down. Compounding that, her ADHD made the conventional office setup particularly draining. The rigid 9-to-5 routine clashed with her natural working rhythm, and years of forcing herself through midday slumps took a serious toll. Five years ago, she walked away from it all—sold her flat, left the industry, and moved back home to Wiltshire. She now lives simply, earning a modest income through part-time hospitality work and creating art from a garden shed.
“My setup now is humble but meaningful,” she says. “I spend time with my aging parents, walk my dog, and enjoy the quiet pleasures I once overlooked.” Choosing happiness over hustle, Gardner embraced what has come to be known online as the “soft life.”
The soft life is gaining momentum, especially among millennials who came of age believing in the merit of hard work, only to face repeated economic downturns and unattainable housing markets. Gabrielle Judge, also known as the Anti Work Girlboss, highlights how the 2008 recession broke trust in corporate loyalty. Millennials and younger generations are waking up to the realization that the traditional path doesn’t guarantee security—or satisfaction.
The “soft life” challenges the outdated notion of grinding until you succeed. It’s not about rejecting work altogether; it’s about reclaiming your time, preserving mental health, and aligning your lifestyle with what truly matters. Rather than pushing to “have it all,” the new focus is doing enough to live comfortably and making room for joy and rest.
Judge, 26, introduced the term “lazy girl job” on TikTok in 2023. After earning a degree in computer science and securing a role at a tech company, she was burnt out within two years—even after receiving a raise. “The math didn’t make sense. I was working 60 hours a week, and even the raise amounted to less when you factored in inflation,” she says. A concussion forced her to take a break, and she never returned to that world. Instead, she accepted a lower-stress, remote job in customer service that covered her needs and gave her peace of mind. That decision marked a turning point in her personal and professional life.
Judge now reaches hundreds of thousands online, advocating for work-life balance, fair wages, and emotional well-being. She’s not promoting laziness, but rather validating alternative paths that don’t require sacrificing well-being for status. “I’m just encouraging people to prioritize what brings them peace,” she explains.
Abadesi Osunsade, founder of Hustle Crew and co-host of Techish podcast, offers another perspective. While she maintains a busy schedule as a CEO, she strongly supports the principles behind the soft life. In her twenties, she cycled through burnout while juggling a demanding tech job and launching her business. But success has allowed her to slow down and intentionally create space for family, health, and self-care. “I used to measure my worth through my productivity,” she reflects. “Now I focus on what genuinely fulfills me.”
Osunsade points out that productivity culture often masks deeper systemic issues. For many marginalized groups, particularly Black individuals, value has long been tied to labor. “We’ve been conditioned to feel guilty for resting,” she says. “But why should rest be shameful?”
She sees the appeal of soft living as a direct reaction to sociopolitical conditions—from the disillusionment following Trump-era politics to the slow progress of gender equity. Ten years after Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, the gender pay gap remains significant. As Michelle Obama aptly put it, “leaning in doesn’t always work”—especially for women navigating multiple layers of discrimination.
The soft life isn’t laziness—it’s a resistance to systems that reward overwork and devalue rest. It’s a movement born from a collective realization that endless productivity doesn’t equate to happiness. For a generation raised on the myth of meritocracy, choosing a softer life is less about giving up—and more about finally tuning in.
