We all know we are supposed to not let circumstances rule us, not get upset with what we can’t control, not be victims, etc.  The problem is that it is easier said than done.  It’s a little abstract.  Habits and human nature are not so easy to overcome.

A metaphor that really helps me is that of picking up and putting down rocks.  I don’t know where I first heard this, but it really helps when I visualize something physical like a rock.  It makes the letting go seem real; you are putting down a rock and your load instantly seems lighter.

Some of the rocks we pick up are mere pebbles, some of them are bigger rocks, and occasionally we hoist a large boulder onto our shoulders.  The pebbles most of us pick up on a daily basis add up to a heavy bag of rocks by the end of the day.  The solution is to stop picking up the rocks, and when you do, put them down immediately.

I went snow skiing about 10 years ago and somebody plowed into me and I ended up with a fractured arm near my shoulder and some broken ribs.  At that point I had broken bones, pain, inconvenience, and rehab in front of me.  All those are circumstances that were given, but in addition I started picking up rocks immediately. I picked up the anger rock at the idiot (that made it a bigger rock) who plowed into me.  I was feeling sorry for myself because I had to sit in the condo while everyone else was out having fun.  I had to breath shallow so my broken ribs wouldn’t move.  I had a lot of time to sit around and be upset wondering how I was going to type on my computer, wondering how I would drive, and about a million other things.  Poor, poor, pitiful me.  I picked up every rock in sight and then some.

We do not have to pick up all this other baggage.  And it’s really simple to put it all down when we do.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, don’t pick up the rock.  When you are standing in line and the person in front of you doesn’t seem to realize they actually have to get some form of payment out of their purse until after the final total has been rung up, don’t pick up the rock.  When somebody is rude to you, don’t pick up the rock.  When life craps on you, don’t pick up the rock.

Just visualize the rock sitting on the ground as you casually walk on by.  For any rocks you have already picked up, just stop and breathe and then visualize yourself slowly sitting the rock down and walking away.  It works wonders on your mental well-being.  You actually feel physically lighter.

What do YOU think?  Leave a comment and join the conversation.

Tagged as: Psychology, well-being